Tangled the Series Review: Fitzherbert, P.I.
By Shannon Fox, @shannonfox
In the Corona justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the guards, who investigate crime, and handsome, devil-may-care ex-thieves, who actually do their jobs better than them. These are their stories.
Welcome to your weekly recap of “Tangled: The Series”! Just a reminder: this is an adult recap, not written with kids in mind. This is where I give you a specific reason why you shouldn’t let the kiddies read it, but to be honest? If your kids start running around the house screaming “che palle” at the top of their lungs, it will be HILARIOUS (and, I mean, at least they’ll sound cultured!).
Quick bit of news before we jump into this week’s episode– Tangled: Before Ever After will be released on DVD THIS TUESDAY, April 11th!
It’s time for Rapunzel to get her official royal portrait done! A famous artist, The Giovanni, is coming to paint her, and she needs to choose a pose and subject matter that defines her and shows how she’s unique. But she’s having some trouble choosing, and Eugene and Cassandra aren’t being much help while they bicker about Eugene’s lack of purpose or role in the kingdom, now that he’s no longer Flynn Rider.
But when he complains to the thugs at the ol’ Snuggly Duckling and fails to get them on his side, he decides it’s time to find a job. And while we didn’t get an 80’s style montage of Eugene trying a bunch of different jobs with “9 to 5” playing in the background (all right, all right, OR “Workin’ For A Livin'”), we did get to see him try being a baker’s assistant, cab driver, and cobbler. And none of them worked AT ALL.
Just when he’s about to give up (and almost puke in his mouth from Cassandra being right), he manages to head off and capture a fleeing thief before the royal guardsmen can catch him– thanks to some personal experience in thievery, of course. And that’s when Eugene Fitzherbert decides to join the Royal Guard.
He begins his training with a clearly unimpressed Captain, and HERE’S our montage! And to everyone’s surprise (especially Cassandra’s!), he does really well, even with the Captain and the other guards trying to sabotage him at every opportunity.
Meanwhile, Rapunzel is still having problems choosing what she wants in her royal portrait. But she gets some help from Queen Arianna, who admits that she herself went a little too far with her royal portrait. She tells her daughter to show who she is, not what she can do.
It’s time for the final exam obstacle course for the Royal Guard training, and Eugene is feeling down about his chances. But that’s nothing a little pep talk from Cassandra can’t fix.
WHY YES, YOU DID READ THAT RIGHT: A PEP TALK. FROM CASSANDRA.
So even though the Captain tries his hardest to make him fail, Eugene passes the course with flying colors, and is granted a probationary spot as a Royal Guard– and is immediately assigned to patrolling the boring dungeon.
Meanwhile, The Giovanni arrives just as Rapunzel’s finally decided on a simple portrait. Eugene comes to visit her during her sitting, but that leaves the dungeon unlocked. A prisoner escapes, and Eugene is promptly kicked off the Royal Guard.
But something’s fishy about The Giovanni’s painting: he basically made her Potato Rapunzel. And that’s when Eugene realizes that one of the castle’s portraits has been stolen from the gallery and replaced with a fake. And though the Captain doesn’t believe him, Cassandra does! They go to the docks to head off the thief, while the Captain finds out that Eugene was right when the REAL The Giovanni arrives. Che palle!
With some help from Cassandra, Shorty, and Maximus, Eugene captures the fake The Giovanni (and almost gets shot by a crossbow, but we’ll overlook that) and the Captain is forced to admit he was wrong. And while Eugene is clearly not meant for the Royal Guard, he does get a shot at being an instructor to help the guardsmen “think like a thief”.
As for Rapunzel’s portrait? She decides to paint her own. And it’s literally the most adorable thing of all time.
Random Notes from Shannon’s Brain
- I really, really loved Rapunzel’s “hippie” look. Like, a lot.
- So I was really excited about the return of Feldspar, King Candy’s long lost cousin (or perhaps the Mad Hatter’s long lost cousin? I don’t know, take your pick), but I totally forgot his name, arrived on “Feldsplat”, and I’m really sorry, but I’m calling him that from now on.
- How great was Shorty in this episode? I have to admit though, I KIND OF wanted him to hit on Cassandra like he did on Mother Gothel, because I love that “tall drink of water” line.
- I have to share this post by Tumblr user “tangledbea” (who runs a GREAT Tangled fan blog, I highly recommend it) about Eugene’s training montage because it is PERFECTION.
- Speaking of, I could HEAR the Eugene Fangirl squees across the world at the one-handed push-ups and wink. Are you guys okay? Have you been revived?
- But the real question is, did Eugene KEEP HIS KNEES APART on that catapult while he was training?
- More important, currently relevant lessons from a Disney cartoon this week: The people whose job it is to protect you may not necessarily have your best interests in mind and may not always be the best of people. And if that’s the case, sometimes it takes breaking the rules a little to fight that. LET THAT SETTLE FOR A MINUTE.
- Am I the only one who thinks that they totally should’ve used Queen Arianna’s portrait? Whatever, it was ADORABLE.
- When Fake The Giovanni is all like “She-ah gonnah pose with ah-nothing?!”– um, NO, she has Pascal, guy. DUH.
- ….. what’s with the yam?
- The Honorable Professor Fitzherbert Esquire. Listen, I was going to get all Shakespeare on you guys (“Henry VI”, if you’re wondering) but instead I give you this and this.
- Wait, so does EVERY thief in Corona peace out on last ferry? Because maybe put a guard ON THAT FERRY, you guys.
- I’m still living for the BrOTP that is Cassandra and Eugene. Apart from the fact that she was admitting that Flynn Rider WAS a legend by the end of the episode, they’ve essentially become THIS, and it is EVERYTHING:
That’s it for this week’s recap! Thanks for reading! Let us know what you thought of the episode in the comments, and be sure to catch “Tangled: The Series” Friday nights at 7:30 PM on the Disney Channel! See you next time!