Tangled the Series Review: Episode 1, What the Hair?!
By Shannon Fox, @shannonfox
Hi there, “Tangled” fans! Welcome to the first recap of “Tangled: The Series”! Just a reminder: these are adult-oriented recaps for those of us who probably have jobs and responsibilities but still enjoy a well-written, adorable cartoon about love and overcoming obstacles and, okay, KIND OF ship two non-speaking horses, but you know what? WE SHALL NOT BE JUDGED. But seriously, maybe don’t let the kiddies read this, unless you’re all about explaining to them what exactly “Fifty Shades of Grey” is and how it relates to their favorite Disney Princess. And if you are, well… good luck with that one. Yikes.
…. let’s move on.
Miss the episode? Good news, everyone! It’s up on YouTube! LEGALLY!
New Characters On This Episode
- Hookfoot, Hookhand’s brother
Voiced By Jeffrey Ross (“Jeff Ross Roasts…”, “Roast Battle”)
- Varian, a young alchemist
Voiced By Jeremy Jordan (“Supergirl”, “Newsies: The Broadway Musical”)
- Quirin, Varian’s father
Voiced by Jonathan Banks (“Breaking Bad”, “Better Call Saul”)
After some SERIOUS nightmares involving Mother Gothel and a case of floating hair…
Cassandra and Rapunzel decide they need help in finding out what the deal is with the return of her long, unbreakable locks. The problem is, Cass still wants to keep Eugene out of the picture so that no one will find out that she snuck the princess out of the kingdom– she doesn’t trust him OR his big mouth. So while Eugene tries to prove his trustworthiness with the thugs at the Snuggly Duckling, Rapunzel and Cassandra are off to see the “wizard”!
Except he’s actually an tiny, adorable alchemist named Varian.
He proceeds to take Rapunzel and her hair through a series of tests, the first of which yields surprising information: Blondie’s hair doesn’t have healing powers! The rest of Varian’s tests are to be done on something that looks straight out of “Fifty Shades of Grey”, which is why no one can blame Eugene when, after tailing the ladies to Varian’s house, he freaks out seeing his lady strapped to it.
But no need to fear– Varian is Flynn Rider’s number one fan, and he promptly fangirls over the fact that he’s finally meeting his hero. And though Eugene tries to explain that he isn’t the fictional hero that the alchemist adores, he can’t help but use Varian’s willingness to share the secrets of his lab as a way to prove his trustworthiness to both Rapunzel and Cassandra.
Unfortunately, the secret is that Varian has constructed large hot water tanks under his village that are causing earthquakes and becoming increasingly more volatile over time. And while his heart’s in the right place, as Eugene says, “anything that can cause earthquakes cannot be safe”. Disney: teaching us lessons about fracking, one cartoon at a time.
Before Varian can turn off the machines, however, they become completely unstable and blow up. He’s saved at the last second by Cassandra, while Eugene and Rapunzel only survive the house collapsing on top of them by huddling underneath Rapunzel’s indestructible hair. But there’s some bad news: the test results are destroyed in the destruction.
While Varian’s dad and his village bear the consequences of Varian’s experiment, Rapunzel, Cassandra, and Eugene head home. But the princess is done with keeping secrets from her boyfriend, and she finally fills him in on how her hair magically reappeared. Hooray!
But with those crazy stalagmites getting closer, will Rapunzel ever find out what’s going on with her hair?
Well, I guess we’ll have to keep tuning in to find out, huh?
Random Thoughts from Shannon’s Brain
- Can we give the series’ opening sequence an award NOW? Because it is GORGEOUS!
- I have to come at Queen Arianna for a minute, because she fully calls out King Fred for going all crazy-tyrant-king on his daughter and putting her under MARTIAL LAW… but she’s not telling him that YES, IT WAS THE WRONG DECISION? Come on, your Highness! Maybe the fact that Rapunzel is effectively getting locked in ANOTHER tower is part of the reason she’s having nightmares? *renews membership of the “Rapunzel Deserves Better From Her Dad” club*
- Cassandra and Eugene need to deal with their issues, particularly because they say “literally” the same way. LI-TER-RAL-LY.
- Did anyone else squeal with joy when Rapunzel called Eugene her “boyfriend”? Just me?
- Okay, how in the WORLD did Eugene keep his real name a secret for so long with that big mouth of his?
- Poor Pascal was SO EXCITED TO MEET A WIZARD WITH A POINTY HAT… until Cassandra crushed his dreams. It’s okay, little guy. Someone tell that chameleon about Dumbledore!
- I really missed all of the thugs, though I have to say the thought of Ulf just miming around the castle makes me laugh really hard.
- Okay, but Varian is a SCIENCE WIZARD. Like MR. WIZARD! Remember him? (Sorry, I’m old.)
- When Rapunzel got strapped to Varian’s machine, I had a moment where I thought she’d end up taller and super-buff like Captain America. For some reason. *clears throat and moves on*
- NOOOOO VARIAN, THERE WAS FINALLY A WANTED POSTER THAT GOT FLYNN’S NOSE RIGHT! AND YOU DESTROYED IT!
- “Team Awesome”, more like “Team Please Sing Everything In the World Ever”.
- It made me sad that when Rapunzel and Eugene thought they were going to die, Blondie was like, “I love you too, more than you will ever know”. What? No! He SHOULD know, because you SHOULD tell him! Come on you cuties, get it together!
That’s it for this week’s recap! Let us know your thoughts, theories, and favorite moments in the comments below.
“Tangled: The Series” airs on Friday nights at 7:30 PM on The Disney Channel! See you next week for a brand-new adventure!