Dating is Awkward, but so is Becoming the Crazy Cat Lady
by Angelle Bonnecarrere (@angelle_renee)
“I’ll tell you what I do want. I want someone who will be monogamous, and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals, but knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed, like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me, even when I’m old. And that’s what I want!” –Liz Lemon (30 Rock)
I have dreaded even saying the word for years now.
I want to believe that it’s hard on all of us. That is until I see well-adjusted normal people see each other from across the room, say hi, exchange pleasantries and business cards, and next thing I know I’m being invited to a destination wedding in Puerto Rico. As a self-described “nerd,” does that automatically put me in the “Awkward with Dating” box? No, but I can name some things that do:
I get excited when I find floss in my purse.
Also, when I find gum.
I go to bed, more often than not, at 9:30.
I’m wearing socks with sharks on them.
These are more likely reasons why I try to stay away from dating. Yet it begs the question, how does an awkward nerd find love? After years of my friends saying, “I’m not a psychiatrist!”, “Join a dating site!”, “What are you wearing??”, I joined a dating site and stopped wearing rompers.
Yes, my first date was kind of a bust after he told me that ordering a double Jameson on the rocks was “Just not something you do on a first date” and then followed up with, “Yeah, I’m not really into The Walking Dead.” However, I feel that when we acknowledge our nerdiness, we also take on the attributes of the stereotype and make dating the most painful thing in the world next to stubbing your toe on the sofa. Here are some reasons you should get out of that basement and make some new connections:
– Cat hoarding is so 2010. You like to knit, have a cat, and are single. Cue your friends calling you “The Crazy Cat Lady.” Well, maybe you just like all of those things. Maybe you travel a lot and have illicit love affairs with men named Paulo. They don’t know you. Even if you don’t, now that I’ve said Paulo, you’re thinking about it. He’s out there, waiting to samba away with your heart. Are you going to keep Paulo waiting?
– Stories. Sometimes I wonder if I’d rather have a terrible date or a great one. I have a friend who said a guy she went out with spent the better part of the date telling her the company his parents ran wasn’t a pyramid scheme (it’s probably a pyramid scheme). What if he shows up pushing 60 when his profile said 33? Hey, ask him about what it was like when Star Wars first opened. What if she brings along her tiny Pomeranian so you can only sit outside and it’s 95 degrees? Tell her to wait a minute, go home, grab your St. Bernard, and tell her you’ll meet her at the dog park.
– New Stuff. Go out. Buy that new shirt, tie, pants, dress, etc. Put it on and go. Your mood will instantly change. My thing is shoes (which is why Paolo Nutini’s “New Shoes” is very dear to me). I put on a new pair of shoes and even when a guy is making volunteering in Jerusalem sound boring, I’m safe in the knowledge that I have new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right.
– Keep an open mind. Maybe he doesn’t look like Henry Cavill or have the suave debonair charm of Timothy Olyphant. He might not drink coffee or like cupcakes, but he does like you and makes you laugh. Isn’t that all we want at the end of the day? Trying to keep up with suave and debonair is exhausting, especially if you’re like me and averse to showering some days and not leaving the house, because a marathon of An Idiot Abroad is on The Science Channel.
Trust me, dating is hard. I know someone who says her friend went on 264 dates before she found her husband. She may be exaggerating, but know this:
Here’s to 264 times to meet new people, have a great story, and just maybe….
fall in love.
Happy New Year, nerds!