A Fan’s Guide to “Picking Favorites”: Episode 17, High School Horror Jokes

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By Shannon Fox, @shannonfox

Welcome to your weekly recap of the “Picking Favorites” podcast, nerds!  If you’re wondering why this week’s episode smells faintly of maple syrup, it’s because, FINALLY, everyone’s favorite Canadian has returned: Tyler Labine is BACK, ladies and gentlemen!  Ah, our boys are all together again.  Couldn’t you just smoosh all of their faces?

You can find this week’s podcast on iTunes and Soundcloud.

This Week’s Guest:

Lamorne Morris! (@LamorneMorris)

lamornemorris

Lamorne is an actor and comedian that is probably best known for his role on the show “New Girl” as the hilarious Winston Bishop.  He’s also guest-starred on a bunch of shows, including “Drunk History”, “The Kroll Show”, and “The Guild”.  Also, he does an AMAZING rendition of “Defying Gravity” from the Broadway show “Wicked”.

“New Girl”, Tuesday nights on Fox

Let’s do this thing.

Favorite Horror Movie

“Do you like scary movies?”  Really, the question is that if Drew Barrymore had answered with, like, “Why, YES, I do, thank you so much for asking!”, would she still have been killed?  PHONE MANNERS ARE IMPORTANT (okay, well, maybe not so much anymore, because we all just text each other anyway).  Also, you should all watch Cabin in the Woods PRIMARILY for the elevator scene.  It is MAGNIFICENT.

Razzle:

Cabin in the Woods

Kentucky ‘Murica:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Tyler:

Rosemary’s Baby

Lamorne:

30 Days of Night

Zac:

Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight

Extra Mentions:

The Birds

Timothy Dalton in James Bond: License to Kill

Penny Dreadful 

Favorite High School Teacher

First off, can I just say that I am thoroughly impressed by the guys’ ability to remember their teachers’ names?  I can’t remember pretty much ANY of my teachers’ names from high school (or, really, anything I learned, but that’s beside the point).  And look at all the MATH teachers!  My math teachers HATED me (and I, them.  And math, in general).  But hooray for good (or, as the case is with most of these, laid-back) teachers!  Sidenote: I obviously couldn’t get pictures, so let’s just look at this one stock image of the most adorable teacher ever.  Seriously, can he be my grandpa?

teacher

Lamorne:

Bob Dobez (Math)

Kentucky ‘Murica:

Shirley Schaefin (AP English)

Tyler:

Mr. Josiah (Accelerated English)

Razzle:

Pete Karoly (English)

Zac:

Ms. O’Farrell (Algebra)

Extra Mention:

Miss Quackenbush (Gym)

Mrs. Strecker (Algebra)

Favorite Joke

Ooohh, what’s the matter, lazy pants?  You wanted to see what everyone picked without even hearing the podcast?  Well, GUESS what, you’re just going to have to LISTEN TO THE EPISODE to hear the jokes, because I’m not giving them away here.  SO THERE.  Also, I obviously can’t really put up pictures for these jokes, so here’s a picture of a screaming goat because they make me die laughing (particularly when they’re added to a certain song from a certain crush of Razzle’s).

screaminggoat

Lamorne:

The “Kid Born As Just a Head” Joke

Razzle:

The “No Thanks, I’m Driving” Joke

Tyler:

The Canadian “21 Questions” Joke

Kentucky ‘Murica:

The “Kids Talking About Circumcision” Joke

Zac:

The “Three Wishes” Joke

Extra Mentions:

Norm MacDonald’s Moth Joke on “Conan”

Queen Joke on “The Office” (excuse the subtitles, I couldn’t find a better version!)

Jerrod Carmichael

The Aristocrats

Random Notes from Shannon’s Brain

  • The winner of this week’s “Hey, You’re Awesome” Award goes to… Tyler! Because he’s FINALLY back on the podcast and we missed him.  Welcome back, sir!
  • The “manspreading”thing on the subway.  I can ABSOLUTELY confirm that this is a real thing, and hold on, because I’m about to get all fired up about it: it is absolutely NOT about “comfort”, because you know what? Boobs are TOTALLY bigger than balls, and you don’t see woman taking up three subway seats so that their breasts aren’t all squished, now do you? Close your effing legs, manspreaders. Okay, sorry, I’m done.
  • If there was any one moment during this episode that made me really happy that Tyler is back, it was the exchange between him and Kentucky ‘Murica about inappropriate jokes and how they always get the most negative comments about them.  Tyler’s response? “So let’s do it more!”  I LOVE HIM.
  • I appreciate Kentucky ‘Murica’s perfect representation of my theory that people from the south sound like banjos.
  • CAN EVERYONE JUST BE NICE TO RAZZLE PLEASE, HE IS A FRAGILE BABY MEERKAT.
  • So both Zac and Razzle were called by their last names in high school.  Can I just say how JEALOUS I am? This seems to be a thing that exists only between guys and sports players, of which I am neither.  You know how HARD I tried to get people to call me by my last name in high school and it NEVER worked?  I literally got “Shanaynay” instead of “Fox”, what the hell?!

That’s it for this week’s recap!  Remember to subscribe to and rate the podcast on iTunes, and send YOUR favorites to @thenerdmachine on Twitter with the hashtag “#PickingFavorites”!

You can find our hosts all over social media:

Kentucky/Dave: Twitter

Razzle: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook

Zac: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook

Tyler: Twitter, Facebook

Thanks for reading! See you next week!


    5 Comments

  1. skorpeoFebruary 26th, 2015 at 10:40 am

    I always love in the beginning or the podcasts when everyone starts getting uber creepy (in this case, recreating the movie “Deliverance” about ‘Murica’s accent…”You got a purty mouth”) and you can hear Zac squirming.

  2. SynbiosTaelFebruary 27th, 2015 at 4:11 am

    1.- Cabin in the Woods it is for me too
    3.- My favorite short joke is: “Why was the skeleton so bored in the party? Because he had no body to dance with”

  3. JayneMarch 1st, 2015 at 8:20 am

    Shannon, sure Zac sometimes calls you by your last name now, so that should nearly make up for any lack at school

  4. SharlzGMarch 2nd, 2015 at 3:40 pm

    Nyaw at Razzle being a fragile baby meerkat and hugs at Razzle because we don’t all hate on him.

    I was trying to remember my year 7 & 8 science teacher because he was amazing – he organised for us to came out at school so we could look at the stars which really expanded my desire to be an astronaut (that never happened because when I was in high school girls were discouraged from that kind of thing, and it we don’t really have a space program here anyway), and had us do super cool experiments. I moved and changed schools after that but had another great science teacher in year 9 and 10 who also encouraged my scientific curiosity and taught me about Einstein’s theories and told me I should be a physicist (which also didn’t happen, but I still loved his classes). I wish I could remember their names because they were both such great teachers….that’s it…gonna have to pull out my year books…

  5. SashaSeptember 19th, 2015 at 3:08 pm

    A bit late to the party but can I just say this: I thought Lamorne’s joke was kind of lame until he followed up with the punch line. I burst out laughing so loudly I almost woke my kid. And I actually had to pause for a bit cause I was laughing forever.

    Had to listen to Zac’s joke twice cause I thought I missed the punch line by not being a native speaker. Heck, I even used a dictionary to see if any of the words “giant orange head” had a secret meaning I hadn’t come across yet. Maybe my brain was still suffering from the lack of oxygen after laughing over Lamonre’s joke for so long.

    Glad that Ty is back. He was really missing.

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